for a feeling

beach
karin bania
painting

You see, you closed your eyes. That was the difference. Sometimes you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel. Mitch Albom

I got the most beautiful email from a reader this weekend. It meant a lot to hear her thoughts. I know the feelings she expressed because I feel them too.

Many years ago I walked into a tiny, dim market on some busy street in New York City. I handed the man my money and had a brief conversation that I now have no memory of. But I remember my thoughts as I walked back out onto the street. We don't have to do huge things in life, we just have to be authentic with people and present to the moment. We never know the true course that a simple smile can take.

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The air was still warm and I could have walked for miles. Sometimes I want to step through to the other side, into the emptiness. Sometimes I want to lose myself there, in the place outside of time where she didn't move away, where change hasn't crept in after a two day absence, where last night could have gone on forever.

Life is so huge and sometimes I feel insignificant. It is all rushing by and I just want it to slow. I want the luxury of getting lost in words and strokes and thoughts, in the hours it takes to write, wonder and dream. I want those hours, but there is so much to do. Time speeds by and now I must go. Only the front of the house got cleaned today. I will still be walking through piles of half-folded laundry on the way to bed tonight. But the sunlight hit the old navy mug and the bamboo is blowing in the wind and somewhere down the road I hear a crow.

Just for a minute I close my eyes. Just for a feeling.