it's happening

karina bania paintings
pasta flower
girls beach jump

it's been hectic few weeks, and this year is moving quickly. luckily, life moves between periods of extreme busyness and downtime where it calms, i catch my breath, pay attention and come back to the moment.

last week my husband handed me a sealed envelope with the words DO NOT OPEN scribbled on it by me. it's an envelope containing my new years resolutions. the one's that i don't look at throughout the year. the one's that i had tucked away and somewhat forgotten about until seeing the envelope.

it may seem strange that i am not looking at this list to guide me throughout the year, but i am going with the, we must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us, mentality. it's like a compromise. plan it, but let it flow. consciously ask for what you want, but grow it organically. put it out there, and let it happen.

and it's happening.

asking for what you want is sometimes uncomfortable. having others watch you as you grow into what you want, as you learn and try and reach for new things, is also uncomfortable. we want to be sure-footed. or look sure-footed. and to outsiders we sometimes look like we have it all together, like we know what we are doing, like we are there. but inside we still feel young. fledgeling. unsure.

and that's ok, because we all feel it at sometime. and when we stop feeling it here and there, we probably aren't growing. because when you're growing, it's happening. the plans you've been making are in motion. your world is in motion and your footing is shifting. things are changing and life is waiting.

life is waiting for us to start happening.

so begin.