Everything runs its course. Moods, relationships, habits, passions, being stuck. This weekend we went roller skating, something that I had not done since the last time I had done it all those years ago. In the seventies and eighties, it was kind of my thing. Just thinking that I was around in the seventies, doing things like roller skating at the rink, makes me happy; age is good.
Feeling the wind rush through my hair every time I passed the circular fan at the far end made me feel alive in a way that I have not felt in a long time. Each lap I felt myself becoming lighter. It's amazing that feeling of body memory. I knew how to skate. It all came back.
Friday nights at the roller rink with friends, going into the darkness, the music, a bit of nervousness and the feeling of freedom.
It was all there, stored and brought back to the surface for me to live again.
Now, is a specific period in my life too. I am raising young kids. I will look back on this period as one of the best parts in my life. I will associate certain memories with it, smells, sounds, places, and events. I will want to relive them again one day and I will try.
Looking over the course of a lifetime there are divisions, chunks of time that can be separated out not only by age or years, but by the more subtle things like relationships, music, a circle of friends, the house you are living in. A course is a continuous progression from one point to the next in onward movement. While it's true that we can never go back and we don't know what lies ahead, I think we can revisit things. Maybe time is like the roller rink, less a straight line, but a never ending circle. Each time around is different, your path is never the same, but you come back around, things repeat themselves subtly. I may begin to imagine time this way, for less would be that rushed feeling of "running out of time." Or maybe I will just revisit the roller rink again and let the memories come back and settle into the present moment of contentment.